Ever heard the expression “beware what you wish for”. There is also a lot of truth in the words “you become what you focus on” and a growing body of research to support this.
Compare the following goals:
- I want less pain
- I want to lose weight
- I have to get rid of this pain
- I have to change but I don’t know how
- I want to learn how to let go
- I want to become more flexible
- I want more energy
- I want more fun
No’s 1-3 is focused on losing something.
No. 4 knows they have to change but are stuck.
No 5 is not sure whether to lose something or gain something new.
No’s 6-8 is focused on gaining something new
Or put another way. If you’re driving a car and constantly look in the rear-view mirror it is very difficult to see where you are going or how you are going to get there. Compare that with the occasional glance to check what is behind you.
If you’re in pain and its been having an impact on your life how do you think your life will be if you focus on the pain? How is your day if something else you enjoy distracts you? Do you have more or less pain? How is your day when you’re doing something you don’t want to do? Where is your focus?
If you’re recovering from a stroke and have to learn how to walk again, where do you get your greatest gains? From focusing on the stroke, what you can’t do and how terrible your life is? Or do you get more from focusing on the function you have, what you can do, how every day you have better coordination, more strength, and increased sensation? Do you celebrate what you can do or what you can’t do?
Our brain receives a continual stream of sub-conscious messages.
In Discover: we focus on losing something, on less pain, less stress. Our emotions tend to be around loss and suffering. If we keep the focus on losing, something, our life can become progressively less rich and fulfilling. We are focused on the past (the rear view mirror) and the past becomes the present.
In Transform: we focus on new perceptions, behaviours and outcomes. We are looking to develop something new and better that will serve our present and future life. Our focus is on positive emotions and moving forwards. We only glance at the rear-view mirror occasionally. We are creating a different reality and present time, and this new presence helps to shape a different future.
Key Observations:
- What are your goals from life?
- Look at the words you’ve used. Are you moving forwards to a new reality or are you trying to lose things that cause you pain?
- Are you looking through the windscreen or in the rear-view mirror?
- If you are using Discover language, how does it serve you? What do you still need to discover?
- How could you word your goals differently to support you?
- How would life be different if you wake up and know where you want to go?
- Become aware of what you say and how your body responds to what you say.
Becoming more aware of your language, is really the first step to whether you are more in discover or transform. Whether your focus in on the negative and things that you want to get rid of, or whether you are focused more on the positive and what you want to have more of in your life. From here just observe and then take a moment and reflect on what you have just said, and whether that is going to help you achieve the goals you want in your life. If not then see how you can make a shift in your language to change the way you ask for things, to really help accelerate you in the direction you really want to go.
Good Luck
Fran
Reflection of 2016